Kansas State University Athletics
SE: Joan’s Lasting Legacy Began with a Candy Jar
Dec 27, 2021 | Football, Sports Extra
By: D. Scott Fritchen
Joan Friederich wore a white blouse and beige skirt sitting in her office at the Vanier Family Football Complex on May 24, 2005. A small clear vase filled with spring flowers sat at the far right of her desk by a computer monitor and a deep dish of candy sat toward the middle of her desk, an arms-length from a visitor, and for a few seconds candy wrappers crinkled in silence.
"I love my job," she said. "First of all, I love football. That's No. 1, but I love these kids. Everybody asks me about retiring. Right now, I don't really want to. I love these kids."
She kept that candy dish stocked. She was smart. The candy was the vehicle to open up hearts. A player would walk by her office, see the candy, and instantly sit down, and suddenly begin to open up about life. She wanted to hear everything. She wanted to chat. She had a big heart. She was so good to people. She wanted to make others smile.
Joan turned 73 years old on June 12, 2005. Between 1967 and 2002 she had never missed a home Kansas State football game. When she broke her hip in 2003, she missed three home games. Then she watched the remainder of the 2003 season in her wheelchair from the Big Eight Room.
After two years serving as a part-time employee at the K-State athletic ticket office, Joan, a native of Leonardville, began serving as administrative assistant for K-State assistant football coaches in 1973 during the final two years under Vince Gibson. She remained in her role for eight and a half years until Coach Jim Dickey elevated her to secretary to the head football coach during the 1980 season. She spent six years under Dickey. She spent three years under Stan Parrish. She spent 17 years under Bill Snyder, three years under Ron Prince, and spent almost another decade with Coach Snyder until a second hip break forced her retirement in 2017 at the age of 84.
She was with K-State for 45 years. That's nearly five decades. So many players graduated. Then they had sons that played at K-State. Joan touched generations of families.
Last Wednesday, "Miss Joan," to which she was respectfully referred by thousands of young men over the years, passed away at age 89 at her Meadowlark Hills residence in Manhattan.
"She was the true foundation of K-State football," Jordy Nelson said.
"She was going to be the flower girl at my wedding this summer," Dalton Risner said.
"Her consistency and toughness were a big part of our program's backbone," Collin Klein said.
"She was literally the lifeblood of the team," Kevin Lockett said. "She was such a staple of that whole transition from being an awful football team to being on top of the mountain."
"She was the sweetest and kindest woman and always had that motherly feeling every time I walked into her office," Michael Bishop said.
"It's just hard to put into words how I miss her," Jaime Mendez said. "She just loved us."
All the stories begin with the famous candy jar.
Mendez sat in front of that candy jar one day during his redshirt freshman year in 1989. He could tell that Joan knew that he was homesick and struggling. She never said, "I know you want to go home," or "I know you're struggling." No, Joan told him stories about past players who had settled down and became a big part of the K-State family. She had a million different things she'd say or do without saying or doing them. She was magical.
"It was incredible to watch," Mendez said. "It was just her. It was just her constant presence. There are literally thousands of men who started texting each other when she passed away. It's sad. She was the glue that kept it all together. She was the captain."
Mendez realized something about Joan over the course of his career. The conversations changed as he matured. She would say, "Jaime, I want you to talk to his young man for me, because he's struggling." As players grew and developed, she used them as her vessels, in a sense, to bring the younger players along. Like with Mendez, she just knew.
And Lockett knew that she knew when he was down at times during his sophomore season. After enjoying a breakout All-American freshman season, Lockett's spirits were down. Joan noticed.
One day she said, "Hey, I need you to come by my office after meetings."
Lockett entered.
"You can close the door behind you," she said.
Lockett sat in front of that candy dish. He couldn't help but open up to her because she was that motherly figure who carried the sternness of a grandmother at times. She always knew how to walk Lockett through a situation. Always encouraging. And the conversations slowly began to change.
"Don't become someone different in the NFL," she told Lockett. "We need you to come back and speak to the young guys."
Lockett remembers walking by her office. Her office wall was all glass. Sometimes the door would be closed. He would see a walk-on player sitting there with Joan's full attention. It was simply amazing how she nurtured and cared for so many young men every year, helped them develop into young men.
"Before I'd go in Coach's office, I'd always visit with Joan first," Bishop said. "I can still hear her saying, 'Michael, Coach Snyder is waiting for you.'"
In 1998, the "Joan Friederich Award" was created to honor the individual, who through their unselfishness, leadership, and commitment best represents the team concept. In 1999, she was presented with the Admiral U.S. Grant Sharp Trophy at the 1999 Holiday Bowl to honor her display of "unselfish dedication and teamwork."
"I got tears in my eyes when Coach Snyder told me he was going to name an award after me," Joan said in her office on May 24, 2005. "That was awfully special. That warmed my heart."
There's another story to tell, so let Risner tell it. Risner, of course, is starting left guard for the Denver Broncos. He was preparing for an abbreviated Christmas celebration with his fiancé Whitney and packing for a trip to face the Las Vegas Raiders. He had sent Joan an early Christmas gift — a Denver Broncos jacket. Everything stopped last Thursday morning when he received a phone call from Joan's number. It ended up being one of Joan's three daughters. She told Risner how much her grandmother loved and appreciated him.
Although Joan retired before Risner completed his K-State career, they had enjoyed dozens of conversations in her office.
One day, Joan looked at Risner and said, "Now I want you to come back and see me. I love sitting down and talking with you. I want you to promise you'll come see me every week." Risner promised. Then Joan broke her hip. Their friendship grew even more when she moved to Meadowlark Hills. Every Wednesday was date night. Joan and Risner split a Papa John's pizza with garlic sauce and pepper and shared a single Coors Light. Other Wednesday nights, Risner took Joan to dinner at a diner downstairs at Meadowlark. It was special to Risner. It was special to Joan. He called her "Grams."
"No matter who she met, she was always good to them, and always wanted to help them. That's a very valuable trait that a lot of people don't have in this world anymore," Risner said. "A lot of people tend to only be good to people who they know can do something for them — not Grams. When I got drafted by the Broncos, I came back to see Grams. She had the opportunity to meet my fiancé. She became the biggest Broncos fan ever.
"It brings me to tears. She was going to be the flower girl in my wedding this summer."
Lockett witnessed Joan's protective nature. Her office was located directly next to Snyder's office. NFL scouts thought they could just barge into Snyder's office. They didn't expect to meet Joan. She made sure they were on the list.
"If she had a cane," Lockett said, "she would've beat the scouts over the head with it."
Klein appreciated Joan's passion for players amid all the daily hustle and bustle with organizing practice schedules, travel itineraries, and staff manuals, and so much more. She did it all and maintained a joyful and consistent spirit. That's what Klein knew from the first time he met her as a freshman wide receiver. When he was a senior quarterback and Heisman Trophy candidate, he remembers a particular exchange that makes him chuckle.
"Collin, don't let those boys hurt you out there," she said.
Klein replied, "I'm just trying to be tough like you."
Nelson enjoyed returning to visit Joan during his first few years with the Green Bay Packers.
"Even before Coach Snyder, she was the face that everyone recognized and loved," Nelson said. "I'd sit down and have a conversation with her and grab a couple pieces of candy out of her jar. We had a little bit of a connection because she lived in Leonardville and knew my grandparents. Honestly, I just remember going into her office and talking about the day or what was going on. I enjoyed coming back and visiting even during my first few years at Green Bay. She was always happy to see any former player.
"She always had a big smile on her face and was full of energy. She always kept the place upbeat. It was always a positive happy room no matter what mood you were in when you walked in there."
Years passed, and players changed, but her memory was sharp as a tack. More than a decade after leaving the program, Mendez would call to chat for five or 10 minutes. She asked him about his parents, his brothers, his family, and his son. She knew them all by name.
"And I'm sure she had conversations with thousands of us over the years," Mendez said. "The conversations just changed the older you became. She remembered every name. She was just an amazing woman. We need more people like her on the planet."
A visitation is scheduled from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m., Wednesday January 5, at the Yorgensen-Meloan-Londeen Funeral Home.
Funeral services will be at 10:00 a.m., Thursday January 6, at the First United Methodist Church, 612 Poyntz Avenue, in Manhattan. Graveside services will be held at noon at the Leonardville Cemetery.
Online condolences may be left for the family through the funeral home website at www.ymlfuneralhome.com.
Her family asks that contributions be made in her name to the Kansas State Athletic Department. Contributions may be left in care of the Yorgensen-Meloan-Londeen Funeral Home, 1616 Poyntz Avenue, Manhattan, Kansas, 66502.
Among all of Joan's many outstanding traits, Risner hopes kindness, too, becomes her legacy.
"It brings happy tears to my face because I know she's comfortable now and sitting with Jesus or visiting old family and friends," he said. "She's looking down and smiling at all of us. I think we can all learn something from her. I think we can learn about her kindness and how to care for other people."
When Joan passed, she no doubt had family, friends, and K-State football in her heart.
She was also wearing Risner's early Christmas gift. Her Denver Broncos jacket.
Joan Friederich wore a white blouse and beige skirt sitting in her office at the Vanier Family Football Complex on May 24, 2005. A small clear vase filled with spring flowers sat at the far right of her desk by a computer monitor and a deep dish of candy sat toward the middle of her desk, an arms-length from a visitor, and for a few seconds candy wrappers crinkled in silence.
"I love my job," she said. "First of all, I love football. That's No. 1, but I love these kids. Everybody asks me about retiring. Right now, I don't really want to. I love these kids."
She kept that candy dish stocked. She was smart. The candy was the vehicle to open up hearts. A player would walk by her office, see the candy, and instantly sit down, and suddenly begin to open up about life. She wanted to hear everything. She wanted to chat. She had a big heart. She was so good to people. She wanted to make others smile.
Joan turned 73 years old on June 12, 2005. Between 1967 and 2002 she had never missed a home Kansas State football game. When she broke her hip in 2003, she missed three home games. Then she watched the remainder of the 2003 season in her wheelchair from the Big Eight Room.
After two years serving as a part-time employee at the K-State athletic ticket office, Joan, a native of Leonardville, began serving as administrative assistant for K-State assistant football coaches in 1973 during the final two years under Vince Gibson. She remained in her role for eight and a half years until Coach Jim Dickey elevated her to secretary to the head football coach during the 1980 season. She spent six years under Dickey. She spent three years under Stan Parrish. She spent 17 years under Bill Snyder, three years under Ron Prince, and spent almost another decade with Coach Snyder until a second hip break forced her retirement in 2017 at the age of 84.
She was with K-State for 45 years. That's nearly five decades. So many players graduated. Then they had sons that played at K-State. Joan touched generations of families.
Last Wednesday, "Miss Joan," to which she was respectfully referred by thousands of young men over the years, passed away at age 89 at her Meadowlark Hills residence in Manhattan.
One of the saddest days of my life. Miss Joan passed earlier today. The greatest wildcat ever And a dearest part of the family
— Bill Snyder (@CoachBillSnyder) December 23, 2021
"She was the true foundation of K-State football," Jordy Nelson said.
"She was going to be the flower girl at my wedding this summer," Dalton Risner said.
"Her consistency and toughness were a big part of our program's backbone," Collin Klein said.
"She was literally the lifeblood of the team," Kevin Lockett said. "She was such a staple of that whole transition from being an awful football team to being on top of the mountain."
"She was the sweetest and kindest woman and always had that motherly feeling every time I walked into her office," Michael Bishop said.
"It's just hard to put into words how I miss her," Jaime Mendez said. "She just loved us."
All the stories begin with the famous candy jar.
Mendez sat in front of that candy jar one day during his redshirt freshman year in 1989. He could tell that Joan knew that he was homesick and struggling. She never said, "I know you want to go home," or "I know you're struggling." No, Joan told him stories about past players who had settled down and became a big part of the K-State family. She had a million different things she'd say or do without saying or doing them. She was magical.
"It was incredible to watch," Mendez said. "It was just her. It was just her constant presence. There are literally thousands of men who started texting each other when she passed away. It's sad. She was the glue that kept it all together. She was the captain."
Mendez realized something about Joan over the course of his career. The conversations changed as he matured. She would say, "Jaime, I want you to talk to his young man for me, because he's struggling." As players grew and developed, she used them as her vessels, in a sense, to bring the younger players along. Like with Mendez, she just knew.
And Lockett knew that she knew when he was down at times during his sophomore season. After enjoying a breakout All-American freshman season, Lockett's spirits were down. Joan noticed.
One day she said, "Hey, I need you to come by my office after meetings."
Lockett entered.
"You can close the door behind you," she said.
Lockett sat in front of that candy dish. He couldn't help but open up to her because she was that motherly figure who carried the sternness of a grandmother at times. She always knew how to walk Lockett through a situation. Always encouraging. And the conversations slowly began to change.
"Don't become someone different in the NFL," she told Lockett. "We need you to come back and speak to the young guys."
Lockett remembers walking by her office. Her office wall was all glass. Sometimes the door would be closed. He would see a walk-on player sitting there with Joan's full attention. It was simply amazing how she nurtured and cared for so many young men every year, helped them develop into young men.
"Before I'd go in Coach's office, I'd always visit with Joan first," Bishop said. "I can still hear her saying, 'Michael, Coach Snyder is waiting for you.'"
In 1998, the "Joan Friederich Award" was created to honor the individual, who through their unselfishness, leadership, and commitment best represents the team concept. In 1999, she was presented with the Admiral U.S. Grant Sharp Trophy at the 1999 Holiday Bowl to honor her display of "unselfish dedication and teamwork."
"I got tears in my eyes when Coach Snyder told me he was going to name an award after me," Joan said in her office on May 24, 2005. "That was awfully special. That warmed my heart."
Miss Joan always had the warmest hugs and the biggest smiles when I would walk into her office. Game days were always the best! We love you and miss you terribly already Gramms. https://t.co/4IYbMcpuVd
— BJ Finney (@catcenter66) December 23, 2021
There's another story to tell, so let Risner tell it. Risner, of course, is starting left guard for the Denver Broncos. He was preparing for an abbreviated Christmas celebration with his fiancé Whitney and packing for a trip to face the Las Vegas Raiders. He had sent Joan an early Christmas gift — a Denver Broncos jacket. Everything stopped last Thursday morning when he received a phone call from Joan's number. It ended up being one of Joan's three daughters. She told Risner how much her grandmother loved and appreciated him.
Although Joan retired before Risner completed his K-State career, they had enjoyed dozens of conversations in her office.
One day, Joan looked at Risner and said, "Now I want you to come back and see me. I love sitting down and talking with you. I want you to promise you'll come see me every week." Risner promised. Then Joan broke her hip. Their friendship grew even more when she moved to Meadowlark Hills. Every Wednesday was date night. Joan and Risner split a Papa John's pizza with garlic sauce and pepper and shared a single Coors Light. Other Wednesday nights, Risner took Joan to dinner at a diner downstairs at Meadowlark. It was special to Risner. It was special to Joan. He called her "Grams."
From our first date at meadowlark, to the pizza and coors light on Wednesday nights, to our long distance phone calls when I left @KStateFB, you were a bright light in my life. May god bless you Grams, I'll wear your name on my sleeve forever! 💜💜💜 P.S ~ I love you pic.twitter.com/ZLCmJdJG8o
— Dalton Risner (@Dalton_Risner66) December 23, 2021
"No matter who she met, she was always good to them, and always wanted to help them. That's a very valuable trait that a lot of people don't have in this world anymore," Risner said. "A lot of people tend to only be good to people who they know can do something for them — not Grams. When I got drafted by the Broncos, I came back to see Grams. She had the opportunity to meet my fiancé. She became the biggest Broncos fan ever.
"It brings me to tears. She was going to be the flower girl in my wedding this summer."
Lockett witnessed Joan's protective nature. Her office was located directly next to Snyder's office. NFL scouts thought they could just barge into Snyder's office. They didn't expect to meet Joan. She made sure they were on the list.
"If she had a cane," Lockett said, "she would've beat the scouts over the head with it."
Klein appreciated Joan's passion for players amid all the daily hustle and bustle with organizing practice schedules, travel itineraries, and staff manuals, and so much more. She did it all and maintained a joyful and consistent spirit. That's what Klein knew from the first time he met her as a freshman wide receiver. When he was a senior quarterback and Heisman Trophy candidate, he remembers a particular exchange that makes him chuckle.
"Collin, don't let those boys hurt you out there," she said.
Klein replied, "I'm just trying to be tough like you."
Nelson enjoyed returning to visit Joan during his first few years with the Green Bay Packers.
"Even before Coach Snyder, she was the face that everyone recognized and loved," Nelson said. "I'd sit down and have a conversation with her and grab a couple pieces of candy out of her jar. We had a little bit of a connection because she lived in Leonardville and knew my grandparents. Honestly, I just remember going into her office and talking about the day or what was going on. I enjoyed coming back and visiting even during my first few years at Green Bay. She was always happy to see any former player.
"She always had a big smile on her face and was full of energy. She always kept the place upbeat. It was always a positive happy room no matter what mood you were in when you walked in there."
Years passed, and players changed, but her memory was sharp as a tack. More than a decade after leaving the program, Mendez would call to chat for five or 10 minutes. She asked him about his parents, his brothers, his family, and his son. She knew them all by name.
"And I'm sure she had conversations with thousands of us over the years," Mendez said. "The conversations just changed the older you became. She remembered every name. She was just an amazing woman. We need more people like her on the planet."
A visitation is scheduled from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m., Wednesday January 5, at the Yorgensen-Meloan-Londeen Funeral Home.
Funeral services will be at 10:00 a.m., Thursday January 6, at the First United Methodist Church, 612 Poyntz Avenue, in Manhattan. Graveside services will be held at noon at the Leonardville Cemetery.
Online condolences may be left for the family through the funeral home website at www.ymlfuneralhome.com.
Her family asks that contributions be made in her name to the Kansas State Athletic Department. Contributions may be left in care of the Yorgensen-Meloan-Londeen Funeral Home, 1616 Poyntz Avenue, Manhattan, Kansas, 66502.
Among all of Joan's many outstanding traits, Risner hopes kindness, too, becomes her legacy.
"It brings happy tears to my face because I know she's comfortable now and sitting with Jesus or visiting old family and friends," he said. "She's looking down and smiling at all of us. I think we can all learn something from her. I think we can learn about her kindness and how to care for other people."
When Joan passed, she no doubt had family, friends, and K-State football in her heart.
She was also wearing Risner's early Christmas gift. Her Denver Broncos jacket.
K-State Soccer Postgame Highlights vs Portland State
Friday, September 12
K-State Soccer | Postgame Highlights vs Oral Roberts
Friday, September 12
K-State Soccer | Postgame Highlights vs Colorado College
Friday, September 12
K-State Football | Pregame Hype vs Arizona
Friday, September 12